💃 Drunk Salesforce Ideas, Revenge of the Admin! 🕺

Good morning, Salesforce Nerd! Grab a tasty beverage and open your mind for another swerve through the wasteland of empty bottles, liquid courage, and Salesforce Drunk Ideas 🍻!

MSHA!

Make Salesforce Healthy Again

Drinks 

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What is it?

A super basic health report-

• License count

• Active user count

• Admin user count

• Automation count - Flows and Apex

• Data storage utilization

Why?!

Why doesn’t this exist already? A snapshot health check of your org that execs care about (licenses = $$$) and you care about (everything else!).

*ktsss, pops another beer

REPORT INCEPTION

Reports on Report Views

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What is it?

It’s a report, that reports…on how many views a report has!

Why?!

You have spent tens, maybe hundreds, of hours of your life building Salesforce reports. Perhaps only a fraction of those are used today, and an inverse amount have been looked at zero or once and never saw the light of day again 😢.

Take the power back with a report about report views. When you’re haphazardly asked to build another report, you go to the Reports report, and show the user that their last 11 report requests have a total of 4 views in the last year 🤨.

On the other side of the coin, as you’re diving into your Report report, you see off-the-beaten-path reports have an outsized number of views and proudly present them to sales managers, to thunderous applause 👏!

THROTTLED

Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen

Drinks 

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What is it?

The more admins in the org, the more the admin abilities are throttled.

1 admin? Ability to do all the things!

7 admins? Each admin can create up to 5 fields, create or modify two Flows, and create one permission set every 24 hours.

Why?!

Too many orgs have died the painful death of too many cooks in the kitchen ☠️.

That. Stops. Now.

Want a ton of admins? Get throttled (FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY 😅!!).

Only admins should be admins. Sales Managers should not be admins. CFO’s should not be admins. “Special” salespeople should not be admins. Enterprise apps are meant to be secure, not free-for-alls 💯.

I POKE BACK 🫵

Porcupine Protocol

Drinks 

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What is it?

A Slackbot that identifies misplaced Salesforce hate and defends itself!

User - “Salesforce is glitching again, my lead won’t convert.”

Slackbot - “Hey, dummy 👋. Your lead didn’t convert because you didn’t fill out a required field. It’s not a “Salesforce glitch” 🙂.”

Why?!

Salesforce catches a lot of strays by your users. It’s exceptional when the hate is actually valid.

Insufficient business process, poor data integrity, and user incompetence are the likely causes.

Can users just get away with reckless trash talking? Let the technology defend itself!

TOXIC POSITIVITY

Nice! Too nice….

Drinks 

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What is it?

If an Opportunity is closed-lost, then reason codes are ridiculously uplifting, like-

😀 It’s their loss, not ours!

😀 We learned something valuable today!

😀 The next deal will be even bigger!

Why?!

Sales is a dog-eat-dog world. Making it more brutal with toxic positivity may be that extra motivation salespeople need to NOT lose a deal.

That makes sense, right?

It does if you’re 10 beers deep 😉.

MAKE SOME NOOOOIIIIISSSE!!

Artificial Crowd Noise

Drinks 

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What is it?

Professional sport’s dirty little secret is that they pump in fake crowd noise.

And nobody cares 🤷🏻.

And it enhances the experience 😃.

So…..

What if you pumped in fake crowd noise to your Salesforce meetings?!

Why?!

Humans are simple creatures. You taste something delicious, your mouth waters. You feel a prick on your finger, you recoil. You hear an excited crowd, you get pumped!

Bring some hype to the most important parts of your meetings! Bring in da noise 🗣️! Let your audience’s primal instincts take over and get excited about your Salesforce presentations!

And after another warm and fuzzy meeting, crack open a tasty beverage and enjoy your success 🍻!

POLL

SOUL FOOD

Today’s Principle