💃 A Love Letter to Stakeholders🕺

Good morning, Salesforce Nerds! If you’ve been searching far and wide for a way to honor your loveliest stakeholder; to wax poetic and to shower their greatness with graciousness….

Then here is your ode to that special someone who makes you feel some kinda way about your Salesforce role 😘 

CAN YOU AUTOMATE THAT?

Salesforce Automation

Ah, the classic stakeholder question: “Can you automate that?”

Stakeholder: “Can we automate tasks?”

You: “Um, Salesforce has automation and also tasks, yes. What tasks do you want to automate?”

Stakeholder: “All of them. Our salespeople aren’t great at tasks, so we want them automated in Salesforce!”

You: ^{*pretends to write that down.} “OK. Good. Great idea. Moving on…so, this is a Home Screen….😘”

BUS REQS GATHERING

Salesforce Business Requirements

A good requirements gathering session will have you swooning 😅.

Actually, your favorite stakeholder makes the Blood Eagle feel like a walk on the beach compared to gathering reqs with them.

Has your special stakeholder requested a “better user experience” without specifying what that meant?

Stakeholder: “We need a better user experience.”

You: “Do you mean fewer clicks, or more intuitive workflows, or confetti on every click?”

Stakeholder: 😐 “Yes.”

You: 😘

CREEP OF THE SCOPE

Salesforce Scoping

Stakeholder-of-the-Year vibes right here 😃.

One moment, you’re building out a couple formula fields and a Flow 🧑‍💻.

And the next, you’re developing a submersible space shuttle 🤔.

Stakeholder: “Can we pull all of our competition’s pricing online and then generate a slightly lower price?”

You: “Sure, let me just pull up the Everything API and start integrating.”

Stakeholder: “Ok cool. And it’s real-time updating? Automated?”

You: “Ha, I was actually joking. Besides, the competition doesn’t share their pricing publicly.”

Stakeholder: “Chatgpt said it was possible. So, if we can have this completed by next quarter, that’d be great. We’d like to hit the ground running the last half of the year nahmean.”

You: 😘

SIMPLE AND EASY

Salesforce Simplicity and Easiness

Selling is hard. Salesforce is easy. Just ask your favorite stakeholder!

Stakeholder: “This shouldn’t take as long as you’re saying. We basically did exactly this a year ago.”

You: “Yeah, that took a year.”

Stakeholder: “All you have to do is copy and paste, basically! I’m out here convincing executives to spend $100,000 and you can’t copy-paste?”

You: 😘

🧠 🔮

Salesforce Mind Reading

Is it unreasonable to read your stakeholder’s mind? This dude could do it, why can’t you?

Stakeholder: “I thought you’d know we needed the data in real-time?”

You: “Ah yes, because I have a direct line to the data fairy.”

Stakeholder: “Well, you’re the Salesforce expert!”

You: 😘

THE FINAL(LY) BLOW

FINALLY…

In the end, despite the chaos, confusion, and occasional existential dread, there’s a strange bond that forms between you and your stakeholders.

It’s a love-hate relationship that keeps you on your toes, fuels your creativity, and provides endless stories for the appropriate Slack channels.

You: “Thank you for signing off on UAT. We deployed to Production and spot checked that it’s working as intended. We would love to hear any feedback your users have.”

Stakeholder: “It’s done? Finally….”

You: 😘

Ah, stakeholders.

They challenge you 🥊, inspire you 🙌, and keep you laughing 😅.

So here’s to you, stakeholder, the unsung heroes of our projects.

Without you, our lives would be far too simple, and our work far too boring. Keep the questions coming, the scope creeping, and the deadlines unrealistic.

To all the stakeholders out there, thank you. You make this job an endless adventure.

😘

POLL TIME !!!

SOUL FOOD

Today’s Principle

and now....Your Salesforce Memes